September rose ........, "Hotel California" is there to witness what I felt something strong ... ...... But that has caused something ....... a thing never happened before I left (positively) "upset". For the first time in my life I felt "good" with my body ...... My body did not ask me anything .......... I was not to "feed him" sex ..... A total lack of desire. For me it was a real "first time" ..... At first I did not realize why. Then slowly I plugged the thing ... A special "smell of sex" he had "touched" and nothing more was worth that particular stimulus ".... too strong and compelling to handle what happened ........ . "Wanders" still strong "anesthetized" by the powerful "drugs "......... waiting to be "awakened"
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